I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She even gives head with a lisp.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
