Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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