the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
