Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
