dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
