The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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