she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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