Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
