so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
