All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize