You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
