OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
