I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
