Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
