spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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