But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
