A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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