Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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