she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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