Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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