everyone is single if you try hard enough
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize