I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
