That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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