You're completely useless in the revolution.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
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