grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
