I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
birth control should be required to get into college
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
