their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Welp...herpes.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
