this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
