And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize