You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
