So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
