even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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