Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
