I love black thongs
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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