i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
