how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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