Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Is it penis luge time yet?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
