I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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