I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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