And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
should my penis look like a turkey
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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