Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
