he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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