In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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