Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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