I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
