I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
