I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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