from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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