forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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