Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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