and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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