I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
