the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
