She announced her abortion via fbk
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
