Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
