weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize