btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
