if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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