I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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