CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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