ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We're using joints as your birthday candles
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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