no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
